


Piece by Piece

by afaceinanendlesscrowd



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Depression, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Heart Events (Stardew Valley), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Angst, Magic, Mental Health Issues, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Minor Violence, POV Original Female Character, References to Depression, Sad with a Happy Ending, Shane Being an Asshole, Shane is Bad at Feelings (Stardew Valley), Slow Burn, Smut, Stardew Valley Expanded, Suicidal Thoughts, Swordfighting, Violence, shane is mean ya but then he is ur friend and then he loves u, why am i writing this? idk but indulge me ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:36:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29849238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afaceinanendlesscrowd/pseuds/afaceinanendlesscrowd
Summary: Sloan to moved to Stardew for a fresh start after a heavy few years, desperately trying to find herself- and find out what she can become outside of the city. Outside of the guilt and sadness that has followed her.Shane walks through life half empty, half awake. Drinking his life away at the saloon, peering over the cliff edge and debating jumping down- until he meets the new farmer.Careful scheming brings the two together in a way neither expected, as they learn to love the valley around them and the people within it again.But can two people born with armour around their hearts ever take it off?(Story is told in both Sloan AND Shane's perspective)
Relationships: Grandpa (Stardew Valley)/Original Female Character(s), Jas & Marnie & Shane (Stardew Valley), Shane (Stardew Valley)/Original Character(s), Shane (Stardew Valley)/Original Female Character(s), Shane/Female Player (Stardew Valley)
Kudos: 8





	1. ESCAPING JOJA

Digging her foot into the concrete, Sloan glanced around again for the bus that was supposedly to appear at any moment to pick her up- and whisk her away to her new life.

Two, high rise buildings stacked up behind her, her reflection shining back at her as she turned to look at them. They seemed taller than they ever had before, looming high above almost dangerously- as if telling her to make her escape soon, before they could catch her.

Sloan had thrown all she had into a bag, made a few calls and had essentially ditched what she knew to be her life overnight. It wasn’t like she was going far- only to Stardew Valley, along the coast. But the phone in her pocket now felt heavy- all of the messages from her so-called friends, coworkers and more lay inside. It had rang and rang after she sent her email out last night but she had turned it off and hadn’t turned it on since.

Maybe it made her a coward. She couldn’t quite bring herself to care enough.

Two workers strolled on behind her, flashing a quick glance her way. Their tight office clothes, pressed and neat, reminded her of the ones she had thrown in the bin last night, the collar of her shirt feeling as if it was strangling her.

Sloan felt that same pressure now, curling itself around her neck and winding tightly, like a viper ready to strike. Her hand came up, as if to pull away the invisible chains there.

Finally, to her immense relief, the bus she had been described whirled around the corner, a flash of colour amongst the grey granite of the city. The shadows around her immediately skittered away, to the back of her mind.

For now, anyway.

It stopped right beside her, doors swinging open as she lugged the bags up and over her shoulders, stepping on.

“Where to?”

“Pelican Town.” She held out the cash, slipping it into the machine by the drivers seat and he nodded.

Nobody else was on the bus. Not a surprise- from the times she had visited as a little girl, Sloan had never remembered seeing many people. Her parents had slipped her on the bus with a lunchbox and a book and made her promise only to get off when she saw her grandpa at the stop.

She threw her bags to the seat beside her and slid into the other one with a sigh. Her heart lurched slightly at the thought of her grandfather- but she pushed him to the back of her mind too. Tried to think of anything else.

She took another quick glance back at the city as the bus moved forward with a heavy squeak. Was this a mistake? She wasn’t sure, nor could she be until she got there and tried it.

But it had to be better than staying in Zuzu City, staying in that office where she had stared and stared out her window and debated just stepping out of it-

Sloan slammed her eyes shut and popped in the headphones in her pocket, allowing the music playing to drown it out.

Another thought to the back of her mind. It was becoming a real hoard back there.

Five hours later, the bus drew to a stop- and Sloan was grateful.

Her legs were beginning to feel a little slick against the seats as spring was well and truly beginning, the heat already rising. She was tired, too.

At the bus stop, she could see someone already waiting for her- a woman, spinning on her heel and then stopping as she noticed the bus drawing close. She was dressed in a bright yellow shirt, a brown jacket around her shoulders. Sloan noticed the tool belt hung around her hips.

Bags in hand, she clambered off the bus. The bus driver didn’t so much give her a nod, the vehicle behind her driving off immediately with a hiss.

“Hi.” She gave the woman a tight smile, feeling a little shy under her curious stare.

“Hi! Sloan, right?” The woman extended her hand, grinning. She seemed excited and her hand was calloused, rough. Used to work. “I’m Robin, the local carpenter. Mayor Lewis sent me here to greet you and take you to the farm- though I’m sure you know the way already.”

She lifted one of the bags by her side up and over her shoulders, eyes searching the ground as if she might find more. Frankly how little Sloan had taken with her was almost embarrassing- but she didn’t have much that was going to be exactly suitable for living in the valley and sentimental objects were far and few between.

Robin asked about the journey, the weather in the city- small talk, and a lot of it, as she slipped down a small path just by the bus stop and followed it. Sloan could see a house in the distance, the familiarity of it almost threatening to bring her to her knees right there, guilt wrapping itself around her throat.

They passed through a shoddy, old gate and walked forward. Sloan’s eyes were immediately drawn to the beaten up land all around- covered in stones, weeds, trees. The entire farm, stretching as far as her eyes could see, seemed to have fallen into some state of ruin.

But what had she expected, after it had been abandoned for so long? She had known this wouldn’t be an easy task. Had wanted such a thing, to keep her hands busy, to teach her a different way of life.

The front door of the house creaked open- and out stepped the mayor, the only person in this town she actually knew.

“Sloan!” Lewis stepped forward immediately, walking down the steps. He clapped her shoulder, seeming pleased. “It’s so good to see you- it’s been, what? A few years?”

“About eleven.”

“That long, huh?” Lewis looked surprised, as if he had expected it to be much less. “Well, welcome to Averna Farm!”

Sloan desperately fought off the look of horror she was sure was threatening to overcome her face and plastered as much of a smile she could instead.

“It’s a mess- but some real dedication and you could turn this into the farm it used to be.” Lewis spoke. Clearly she hadn’t mastered her expression as well as she wanted.

“Or even better.” Robin smiled again and turned, her finger pointing to the rocks nearby, where a pathway was carved into them. “Follow that for ten minutes. You’ll find my shop near the top of the mountain- if you ever need anything.” She threw another wary glance at the rickety house in front of her. “Like an upgrade..”

“Robin.” Lewis chided. “It’s rustic!”

“I’d say crusty is more apt.” She giggled. You wondered how old she was- at the bus stop you would’ve guessed about ten years older than you, maybe more. But when she laughed, her face changed, as if she was years younger.

“Don’t listen to her- she just wants your money.” Lewis shot her another look. “Anyway- everyone has been asking about you. It’s extremely rare anybody new moves here.”

“The last was Elliot and before him, it was years.” Robin interjected.

Lewis nodded. “Yes, indeed. You should go around town and meet everyone- they are clamouring to meet you and I strongly warned them off climbing the hill and bothering you. I figured you could use a little space.”

Sloan gave him a half smile. A real one, this time. “I appreciate that Lewis.”

“Get some rest- and drop by the saloon tomorrow, I’ll introduce you to a few people if you like.” He gave her a smile of his own.

With that, the two of them bid a goodbye. Sloan watched as they disappeared over the hill, both of them walking back down towards the town. The sun was beginning to clamber down towards the earth again, ready to give up for the day- and frankly, she felt the same.

Inside was nice- and exactly like she had remembered. Robin had clearly fixed a few odd holes,where the wood had gotten old and rotten and they had put in some new furniture.

Sloan mourned some of the things that had used to decorate the room- things she wished she had kept.

But she had never expected to see this place again and all she had wanted was any trace of her grandfather gone from the tiny apartment in Zuzu City. She couldn’t bare to see it sitting there, staring at her every morning.

A small wooden table sat next to an even older television. To the right, the brick fireplace that had been there since she was a kid was still built into the wall and Lewis had already lit it.

The only thing that had been kept was the bed- the stupid, groaning bed her grandfather had insisted on keeping despite that thing could not be comfortable. She knew from her own experience it was easier to sleep on the floor instead of listening to the squeaks all night- comfier too.

Throwing the bags down in the corner of the room, she took a seat on said bed- and immediately winced. Tomorrow would definitely be a forage into town to find out where the hell she could find a decent mattress.

The backpack resting at her feet was opened slightly- and Sloan sighed as she realised she hadn’t even properly read the note she had kept in her drawer for the past four years. Pulling it out the bag, her fingers ran along the smooth manila envelope.

Her grandfather’s will, included with a note for her. She was the sole inheritor, of everything he left behind on this earth. Not a single thing didn’t go to her, except for a few books and art he had sent to friends in the valley.

Hands almost shaking slightly, Sloan opened it- and read again.

_And for my very special granddaughter: there will come a day when you feel crushed by the burden of modern life, and your bright spirit will fade before a growing emptiness. When that happens, you’ll be ready to accept my gift._

Sloan flipped the page over, to the piece she had read two days ago.

_Sloan,  
If you have opened the second part of my letter, it must mean you are in dire need of a change.  
The same happened to me- as I’ve told you the story many times. I lost sight of what mattered most in my life, real connections with other people, with nature.  
I feared given the people I saw surrounding you, the life you have endured up to now there may come a time you were in a position- and although you told me it wouldn’t be something you ever wished for, I am giving it to you anyway.  
The deeds to my pride and joy: Averna Farm.  
A perfect place to begin a new life and to maybe find yourself again. I hope you know how proud I am, wether you wish to accept this gift or not. I know you will honour me no matter what path you choose.  
Good luck kid.  
Love, Grandpa._

Sloan pulled the letter to her chest. Breathed once- twice. Waited until that awful encompassing feeling passed, waited until it stopped threatening to swallow her whole.

She tried to do what her mother had told her to do as a kid- to identify what was making her feel such a way and figure out where to go from there.

All she felt was guilt. Awful, lashing guilt because this _was_ his pride and joy, his entire life- and she had seen Lewis’ eyes as he glanced around at the waste it had become. Saw that he was disappointed.

And it was her fault.

She curled underneath the duvet, still dressed and slipped her shoes off beside the bed- the sheets were new too, the stitching in them unique. Probably done by hand.

With the exception of the fire crackling behind her, Sloan couldn’t hear a thing- not a car, nor a person. She supposed some people might find that peaceful and in time, comforting too.

But all it meant was she was more exposed to her thoughts, to the loudness of them- so she focused on the crackling fire, focused on each popping and snap until she fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i put my welcome note on chapter two LOL but welcome anyway :)


	2. WELCOME TO THE VALLEY

The next morning was certainly not as quiet as the night before.

Birds chattered all around the house and there was a scratching at the door- Sloan was more annoyed than afraid as she saw a shadow whiz by the door twice, the morning sun streaming inside.

It had to be early and she felt like shit. She rose, heading through to the bathroom and winced at her reflection- her eyes were beginning to look purple against her caramel skin, exhaustion finally catching up with her.

She glared behind her to the creaky bed and washed her face, pushing her hair back into a braid. It was spring and the day was warm, so she could thankfully get away with the pair of shorts she threw on and the loose shirt.

The scratching at the door came again- and what she had previously just thought to be an overeager bird seemed to be something else entirely.

Sloan swung the door open, frowning. Her face immediately softened as the culprit sat at the bottom of the stairs, grinning at her, tongue out.

A dog.

She pulled her other shoe on, almost losing her balance in doing so and shut the door behind her. From what she remembered about the valley, it was extremely safe- so much so, her grandfather never locked the door behind him when he went anywhere.

But Sloan wasn’t quite up to that level of trust yet. She slipped the key in and locked it behind her, before settling down on the bottom step up to the house, her hand reaching out towards the dog.

He seemed happy to see her, as if he knew her. Certainly not shy.

“You lost?” She muttered, her hands scratching his neck. No collar. He basked in her attention, tilting his head back to meet her hand as she moved upwards to scratch his ears. “You’re very sweet.”

It seemed he was giving her the perfect excuse to meet everyone, without it being too awkward. Sloan wondered if she had anything she could keep a hold of him with, standing and dusting herself off. She stepped to the side, peering inside the wooden box by the house- but there was nothing in there.

Her mailbox however, she noticed, had it’s arrow lifted, pointing for the sky. She opened it, surprised to find a note inside.

_Sloan  
If you get a chance, try meet the villagers today. There isn’t many of us. I’ve also enclosed you a farming grant from the city, to help you along.   
Good luck!  
Lewis_.

Her eyes widened at the cash placed in by the note. She had her own savings, of course, but this was certainly going to be a help.

Stuffing the cash into the bag she had slung over her hip, Sloan turned and noticed the dog had followed her, obediently waiting. She took a few more steps forward and it followed, smiling at her. She smiled in return.

“Let’s go.”

Pelican town was almost exactly as she remembered. Just as small and compact as ever- but there was a beauty to the town she could appreciate, from the cobblestones beneath her feet to the flowers dotted everywhere.

The houses too, she noted three more new ones, were just as beautiful. Sloan wondered if Lewis had implemented standard to which they must be built too, to fit with the aesthetic of the town. She wouldn’t put it past him. A shame it hadn’t been applied to her cabin.

There was nobody lingering in the square, so Sloan walked for the first place she remembered- the store.

The bell rang as she walked inside. It too, was much the same as it had been when she was younger. But now, a new attendant stood behind the counter, his eyes lighting up as he watched her walk in.

“Hi! You’re the new farmer, aren’t you?” He stepped out the way of his desk and strode forward to shake her hand. “I’m Pierre. I own the store.”

“Nice to meet you.” She glanced around. “I’m Sloan.”

“I sell all the seeds, bulbs and roots you may need- along with more.” He gestured to the store around him, to the brimming shelves. You noticed the price tags hung on the shelves, the price slashes on each ones. “I hope you’ll consider buying from me. Local businesses supporting each other.”

She gave him a wary smile. It had barely hit her yet that she owned the farm at the top of the hill, that soon she would begin producing items to sell and become a business. None of it felt real- and she felt wholly unprepared.

“Scared Joja will steal her?” A voice came from behind him and Sloan followed the sound of it to a girl, leaning on the doorframe to the back of the shop.

She had wicked purple hair, the colour of it bouncing off her pale skin as she gave the two of them a sly grin. Younger than her, but not by much. Maybe a couple of years.

“This is my daughter, Abigail.” He introduced the two of you. “And I suppose- but I’m just being a good salesman.”

Sloan could hear the nerves in his voice and given the price cuts she could see at every corner of the store which she imagined were still pretty high compared to Joja’s corporation prices, he was struggling to fight against them.

That was who Sloan had worked for before moving here, Joja. The job had driven her to misery, to the very brink of loneliness. She could still see the cars moving beneath her window, if she concentrated hard enough. Could feel that overwhelming urge to open the latch and just walk out.

The memory of it snapped her out of her haze as she gave Pierre another nod. “I intend to invest locally. Joja won’t get a penny, if I can help it.”

He smiled, relaxed. “That’s good to hear.”

Abigail had walked through the shop, appearing by her fathers side as she leaned down to stroke the dog by Sloan’s side. She had completely forgotten about him, his tail wagging excitedly as he got some attention.

“This isn’t your dog, I’m guessing?” She gestured but Pierre just shook his head, frowning. “He just showed up on my farm this morning. I’m trying to find his owner.”

“I’ve never seen him before.” Abigail piped up, standing. She was dressed pretty wickedly too- dark, gothic clothes matching the eyeliner she had pencilled and smudged around her eyes. Her nails were a matching shade of black too. “Unless someone just got him. Sometimes strays have wandered onto that farm- I’ve seen them before, when I’ve explored it.”

Pierre rolled his eyes. “There’s another reason it’s a good thing you’ve moved in- one less area for her to trample about in, instead of working.”

Now it was Abigail's turn to roll her eyes. “Thanks, Dad.”

With that, she turned on her heel and stormed back into the back entrance of the shop where Sloan noticed a woman with green hair watching them all. She gave a little wave, and a smile, before walking back into the shop.

“That’s my wife Caroline- who will now be chasing down my sullen daughter.” Pierre turned his attention back to her. “Well, good luck finding the owner.”

Sloan would need it.

Time drew on- and it seemed that nobody owned the dog, or had ever seen it before. But just as she hoped, it meant Sloan had managed to meet nearly everybody in town.

Jodi, who lived with her two sons, Sam and Vincent. Sam was just slightly younger than you too, his blonde hair sticking up in all directions as he grinned at you. Next door to them had been Haley, who seemed all too unimpressed with her and had reminded Sloan of her friends in the city. Her sister, she informed you, wasn’t home.

Across town lived George and Evelyn, with their grandson Alex. Both of whom seemed a little unsure of her- though Alex had given her a grin that set her stomach tumbling slightly, almost distracting her entirely from the questions being given to her by Evelyn.

She tried the businesses too, introducing herself as the farmer to each one- the doctor, the blacksmith, the museum curator. All very kind, all having never seen the dog before either.

Lewis was unsure when she met him, leaving the doctors clinic. Harvey, the local doctor, seemed nice if not a little shy. He suggested she ask Marnie, since she was the closest to her farm and had plenty of livestock.

So, Sloan trudged down to the farm there and blinked in surprise at all the cows there, roaming around her front lawn, mooing as she passed and slipped inside.

Marnie had rosy cheeks that reminded Sloan of her mom, her smile warm and welcoming. She welcomed her to the town and informed her she sold all the livestock equipment she could need, including food- but said, unfortunately, it wasn’t her dog.

Her niece, a little girl called Jas who had two beautiful green ribbons tied into her dark hair, seemed quite taken with him- and Sloan almost offered him up, if they wished to have him until he bounced back over to her, rubbing his head against her leg affectionately. Her heart stumbled slightly.

“He seems taken with you.” Marnie smiled at her. “I doubt he belongs to anybody, if you wanted to keep him. Just a thought.”

Sloan still had people to meet, to ask. She didn’t want to get attached to the dog and then have it taken away from her.

But she couldn’t help but kneeling down once the two of them had left Marnie’s ranch and scratching his ears. Was it pathetic to feel it was a little like fate, that it had found her? She felt so lost, and maybe he did too.

“All right.” Sloan muttered. “If nobody claims you by tomorrow you can stay.”

The dog seemed excited at the prospect, wriggling itself closer to her as she took the back path back to the farm.

She really hoped he didn’t belong to anyone.

The saloon that night was quiet.

Sloan had never been inside- not really. Maybe once, stuffed into a booth beside her grandfather as he ordered food and had a beer of his own. But he often preferred to cook back at the house instead, to spend as much time on the farm, out in the wilderness and away from the town whilst Sloan had visited. Insisted she didn’t need to be around anymore ‘city’.

The kitchen had been torn out of the house, clearly too damaged to repair. That was going to have to be the first thing she asked Robin to fix- and given she was still to check the dog didn’t belong to her, she supposed she better head up in the morning and kill two birds with one stone.

“Hi!” A voice called over to her as she entered, cheeks warming as a few unfamiliar faces turned in her direction. But to her relief, they all smiled, seeming just as curious as everyone else had been to meet her.

She recognised him, the man behind the bar.

“Gus.” He extended his hand, which she quickly shook. “Last time we met, you barely came up to my shoulder, so I doubt you’ll remember me.”

But she did- she just remembered him to be much younger, without the moustache he currently sported upon his upper lip. The walls behind him were now decorated with awards and pictures, far more than before and the bar had grown in size too.

“I remember.” She gave him what she hoped was a friendly smile as she looked around.

Just a few people- the blacksmith, who nodded to her in recognition before turning back to his beer, a curly haired blonde woman a few stools down and a girl with electric blue hair and a beautiful red dress standing behind the counter.

“What can I get you? On the house, given its your first time.”

“No, I’ll pay, I-“

“No, it’s fine. Really.” He smiled and given it was the first person to be _really_ kind to her all day, not reserved, or rude, or trying to sell her something, Sloan accepted and asked for a beer.

The bottle felt cool in her hand as she took it from him with a grateful thanks.

“You don’t own a dog, do you?”

“A dog?” The girl behind him was listening to her, smiling. “Only Alex’s grandparents own a dog- Dusty.”

Gus dusted off the glass in his hand. “Why do you ask?”

“One turned up on my farm this morning. My first morning here.” She replied. “I was taking him around to find the owner but there doesn’t seem to be one.”

“Unless someone just got him..” The girl considered this a moment before her eyes flew back to Sloan. “I’m Emily, by the way. I work here- my sister is Haley, if you met her?”

Haley. The one that had reminded her of Zuzu City, of her life there and the friends she had. She nodded.

“She’s a little rough around the edges but don’t pay her any heed. Many people here can be like that at first.” She grinned at her. “Except me- and Gus of course.”

She squeezed his shoulder and the two of them chuckled.

“They did seem.. wary.” Sloan chose her words carefully. Everyone in this town was extremely close, the entire thing being a very tight knit community. Saying harsh words just two days into living here wasn’t wise.

But Emily, thankfully, seemed to agree. “You’re new- hardly anybody new comes here and most of us grew up together. But I promise they’ll warm up very quickly.”

The woman to Sloan’s left lifted her head from the bar, looking worse for wear. She didn’t recognise her- but she did recognise the sloping of her mouth, the purple bags underneath her eyes as she signalled Gus over.

“Do me a favour..” She muttered, putting a few coins over. Not nearly enough for the beer and Gus’s mouth tightened as he noticed. Pulling them into his hand, he turned with a sigh.

Sloan noticed then too, the menu in front of her. The prices slashed on every page, written over with marker. Pierre’s comments, and the doctors too about being glad for a new patient. Clearly, money was an issue in this town.

“I’ll get it.” Sloan spoke up, catching their attention. “I need another anyway- and first round is on the newbie, right?”

She didn’t want to insult the woman. Gus’ eyes filled with a small amount of relief as he nodded, taking the money off the bar. The woman pursed her lips, as if deciding wether to take it as an insult or not.

But Sloan just tipped the drink back to her lips, finishing it off and raised her eyebrows at her as if to say _see?_

“Pam.” The woman spoke up and tilted the beer in her direction. “Thanks, kid.”

Soft music filled the room again, swallowing the silence between them all. Sloan read each of the certificates lining the walls, studied each of the pictures there.

Unlike the bars in the city, she didn’t feel so on edge here. There was something more peaceful about it all, about returning to the farm on top of the hill where she’d visited as a kid. Where she had been happy. Different to drinking in the city, where she’d return to the apartment and be alone. Painfully alone.

Sloan downed the beer in her hand and slipped off the stool, waving goodnight to everyone. She wanted to get home, to the dog waiting for her, to the farm she needed to begin working on tomorrow.

For the first time in maybe years, Sloan felt she had purpose for the next day.

Distracted by said purpose, and maybe a little more drowsy than she intended from downing her two drinks quickly, she didn’t notice the person at the bottom of the steps to the saloon, her shoulder slamming into theirs as she went by.

“Oh shit-“ She turned, to the man glaring at her. “I’m sorry.”

She hadn’t met him yet, nor was she sure who he was. His ink black hair looked almost invisible in the night around them, a matching stubble covering his face. His eyes looked tired, heavy and Sloan noticed he towered over her slightly, from his position on the stairs. He raked an eye over her- and seemed to utterly dismiss her, turning back towards the saloon. Her stomach tightened slightly.

She tried to greet him, to break the tension. “I’m, uh the farmer, it’s-“

“Why are you talking to me?” He snapped, his brown eyes focusing on her as he gripped the handle to the saloon. He gave her another withering stare before walking inside the saloon.

Sloan gripped her shoulder, shooting a glare to the now closed door, wishing it could burn through the door and straight into his head.

_Asshole._

That was one person she didn’t want to warm up to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi welcome if ur like me and like broken men and stardew valley :) lol
> 
> Ion expect this to get a lot of reads, it's for my own entertainment! BUT thanks for reading, if you are!!


	3. FEELING NOTHING IS BETTER THAN EVERYTHING

Sunlight burst into the room- filtering its way into every crack and joint, spreading warmth and light all over.

And it was completely unwelcome.

Shane let out a groan, throwing an arm over his eyes as the alarm beside him began to blare- dragging him out of the peacefulness of sleep and into the misery of the world.

He could already hear Marnie talking to Jas, the smell of her cooking wafting into his room. But his stomach was turning at the smell, almost forcing him to retch into the bin by his bed as he covered his face with a pillow.

The right side of his body was calling out to him in pain- and if he hadn’t smacked it on the door last night coming home, he would’ve suspected it to be his liver.

Sitting up, he peeled back the tunnellers jersey and winced at the bruise there.

He deserved it, for snapping at Emily like he had when she said Jas had seemed lonely earlier that day. He hadn’t meant to- but there was so much poison inside of him sometimes, it was all he could do to keep it contained to himself. Sometimes it got loose, and hurt those around him. People that only wanted to help him.

Still- it was nothing a drink couldn’t wash away the guilt of. And he’d apologise tonight when he went by the saloon anyway.

Shane grabbed the uniform hanging by his door, throwing it over his head, cap in hand and headed out the kitchen.

Jas, despite how awful he must’ve looked, smile at him as he left the bedroom.

But that smile had been a beaming grin once, genuinely pleased to see him, waiting to talk to him. That smile had become one of relief, he had realised one morning with a bit of dull horror. Relief he’d made it home the night before, that his body hadn’t given up in the night on him.

Marnie just eyed him as he walked in, grabbing a piece of toast off the plate laid out on the table and bit into it.

“Busy day?”

“Always is with Joja.” He answered. There wasn’t a bite to it, as there may have once been- his simmering anger at.. well, everything, seemed to have diffused into something pathetic. Numbing.

Marnie asked him that same question every morning and it was always the same reply. The only day it differed was Saturday- and even then, he didn’t usually leave the house except to go to the saloon in the evening.

“Have a good day.” Jas managed to say, through her mouthful of eggs. Shane ruffled her hair, smiling lopsidedly at her squirming as he did so and left.

Whilst he hated the job he was walking to, he didn’t always hate Pelican Town- especially not at this time of morning. Nobody was about, not really, given it was still too early in the day for most of them. In Spring, all that followed him to work was the sound of the river beside him- and he was grateful that it drowned out most of the thoughts that plagued him at work, the ones he couldn’t escape.

Shane didn’t think he ever would.

Shelf after shelf, stocked high above him. Despite Pelican town having a mere twenty something residents, Morris seemed determined to make this the best store in Ferngill Republic.

Most of the towns residents shopped here, bar a select few- Lewis refused, as did the likes of Clint, Gunther, Emily. But those with families like Jodi, or those with money troubles, like Pam, tended to flock here and buy up the cheap food.

Shane didn’t really care about the whole corporation versus the people thing that had seemed to be rising the past few months. He’d heard whispers of it in the saloon from Emily- how Pierre was running out of business. How they all were. Joja supplied everything from health care, to food, to warehousing and much cheaper than the local vendors, especially since they had to hike prices to keep up with the income. They didn’t have the storage like Joja did either, the endless supply of stock.

That was Morris’ latest scheme, it seemed- to get his hands on the old, broken down community centre and make more room. Become truly the heart of Pelican Town.

The thing had laid in ruin for nearly ten years now, nobody bothering to fix it as it began to crumble before their eyes. Joja had moved in shortly after and things had seemed to go downhill from there.

But this was a job- given he needed to pay rent for him and Jas, her schooling, his unfortunate habit, it was the best one around here So, despite knowing it was wrong, he couldn’t find it in himself to particularly care about the troubles it was giving the rest of the town.

Besides- when had they ever looked out for him?

He saw the stares, the pitiful looks towards Jas as if to say _I can’t believe she got stuck with him, that poor kid._ He knew things had been said to Marnie, and whilst she had defended him, he wondered if she believed them too.

He told himself the same things every evening. Shane knew he was a failure and the only reason he came here was to stop that kid from becoming a failure too.

Marnie was better than he was anyway- kinder. More stable. If he had raised Jas in Zuzu by himself he dreaded to think of what position they’d be in.

“Hey.”

Shane glanced up, to where Sam had appeared.

He didn’t mind Sam- his mom was a headnip. But the kid had been a few years below him in high school and Shane remembered when the war against Gotoro Empire had broken out and his dad had been whisked off to fight. Then news came across the town Kent was being kept in a prisoner camp. Sam wasn’t in a good way, for a while, and his mom had gotten him a job here to keep busy when high school ended. He’d calmed down since, but he’d always been pretty decent to Shane, even when he was acting out.

“Hey.” He replied, his fingers beginning to numb from stocking.

“That girl up front looks like she’s about to faint.” Sam nodded to the ginger at the front till, her hair tucked into a tight bun at the nape of her neck. She looked as bleary eyed as him, though hers was likely exhaustion rather than alcohol induced.

“Morris has everyone working stupid hours.” Shane replied. He was on 8-6, which was fine by him. It kept him busy, kept him paid and away from the saloon until the evening. Claire was on the same shifts, but lived miles away so had to wake up early to travel and got home ridiculously late.

“Mhm.” Sam agreed. “You hear about the new farmer?”

“Farmer?”

“Yeah, you know Averna farm? Old man Hart, the one who moved to Zuzu?” Sam explained. “Well, anyway, apparently his granddaughters decided to take it over. Fix it up, run it or whatever. We met her this morning.”

“Hm.” Shane clocked the camera to their left spinning around. Morris doing his usual check of his workers.

Asshole.

“Anyway, I’m sure you’ll meet her at some point.” Sam grinned, slipping his earphones back in and sliding away before Morris could catch them. “Mom loves her- says she’s glad a _young beautiful woman_ has moved to the valley. I think she’s going to try and marry me off.”

Shane rolled his eyes, smiling to himself a little at Sam’s impression, and got back to work.

It was dark outside as he made his way to the saloon that evening. Claire was just ahead of him, practically sprinting for the bus stop.

He didn’t feel bad for a lot of people- but he did feel bad for Claire and the way Morris talked to her. Whilst Shane let it fly over his head, because frankly Morris was a piece of shit but so was Shane so he was beyond caring, Claire let every one of his jabs get to her.

Why, he didn’t know. She could do so much more, but it seems like Shane, she was stuck with Joja.

The saloon seemed quiet as he rounded the corner. He could already feel the beer hitting his lips, quenching the ache inside of him- ten hours was too long, his hands already feeling as if they were shaking.

He stepped up to head inside- and was surprised when someone came walking out, and straight into him.

Shane turned, glaring, expecting it to be one of the younger girls. The ones who had also been below him in high school- and now it felt strange to see them sitting in the saloon, drinking.

But it wasn’t. The woman turned, mouth open in surprise- and he realised he’d never seen her before.

Her dark brown hair was tied back into a braid which fell over her shoulder. Hazel eyes, as bright as a golden sun, shone at him as her mouth opened again- to apologise or to chaste him?  
He’d had a long day. He didn’t want to hear it.

Shane turned again, to head inside, and she spoke, quickly. “I’m uh, the farmer, it’s-“

“Why are you talking to me?” He snapped, looking back at her again.

He couldn’t help it. It was how he was. How he’d always been, or so it felt like- and even her crestfallen face didn’t stop him from taking it back, from turning and marching inside.

Emily watched him as he walked in, eyebrows raised. He immediately turned his hands out of his hoodie and held them up in defence.

“Sorry.” He muttered, sliding into his usual spot by the end of the bar.

She narrowed her eyes at him and for a moment, he wondered if she’d throw him on his ass right there- she had certainly done so a time or two at school, when he’d been an asshole to her or her friends. It taught him not to do it again, though maybe he hadn’t learnt his lesson.

“Fine.” Emily decided and began to pour him a drink. “Only because I’m in a nice mood.”

“Is that so?”

“You met the farmer, I presume, given you walked in as she walked out?” She asked, nodding to the door.

Shane swallowed the beer she put down in front of him quickly- and as he hoped, any of that burning anger, that residual guilt, just washed away with it. Leaving him with vast emptiness roaring inside of him.

But nothing was better than everything.

“I did.”

“I’m going home to thank Yoba tonight.” She grinned. “For replacing her grandfather with a hot piece of ass.”

“You’re sick.” Shane rolled his eyes at her.

He hadn’t known her grandfather- not really. He lived mostly secluded on that farm of his, tending to be friends with the likes of Lewis, Willy, George.

Shane had run across his farm once, from the mountain path to the secret woods on a dare when he was in high school. But nobody had noticed him- and he only realised when he got to the bottom of the river, where the bridge connected him to the woods, that there was nobody on the farm anymore. It had been completely abandoned.

But Lewis had been upset when he died- that he remembered. The mayor had sat in here and had drink after drink, for a friend who had moved out of the valley long before. Shane had watched him hobble home that night, his eyes very dark. Very lonely.

It was a horrible moment, selfishly because he wondered if that would be him in thirty years- alone, drinking to suppress the pain of losing your old friends, stuck in a town with so many people and yet, nobody.

“Oh come on.” Emily poked him. “Be nice to her okay? This might be a rumour, but Caroline said today at aerobics that apparently her grandfather had to give up the farm for something bad. I don’t know what, but it hasn’t been easy for them.”

“It hasn’t been easy for a lot of people.” Shane grumbled.

But he wasn’t annoyed at Emily. He was annoyed at the town, picking and choosing who they give their sympathy too.

Not that he wanted- he hated pity, and he hated when they tried to be his friend out of niceties. But for them to shame and look down on those like Pam, or him or Penny but immediately feel sorry for the new girl in town despite knowing nothing about her, or if her struggles are even true, it wound him up the wrong way.

Everything wound Shane up the wrong way.

“Another?” Emily asked, nodding to the now empty glass in front of him.

“Do you even have to ask?”

She huffed a laugh and refilled it. Shane took another long sip and relaxed into the wall behind him- but despite trying, he couldn’t quite stop thinking of the farmers expression as he snapped at her.

Or of those hazel eyes, burning right through him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u guys enjoyed!! i look forward to developing this story :)


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